Ad Hominy

Moving!

adhominy — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:07:53 +0000

I am going to try moving this whole blog over to http://adhominy.blogspot.com/ and see if it makes my unemployed self a dollar. (or two)

Thanks for following!

Haiku, Zen and the Politics of Politics

adhominy — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:36:06 +0000

Lost economy
Like characters on some isle.
Is it all a dream?

Bi-racial Nazi?
Surely not even Glenn Beck
Believes this horse shit

Universal health?
What a national nightmare!
How goes that Oil War?

Democracy dies
If enough people believe
Instead of thinking

Pimps run for Congress
Family Values for sale
Urinal cake smell

Our own FCC
Stares at Janet Jackson’s boob
To protect us all

Health care somehow means
Boners for old men to use
But not birth control.

Kanye, Wilson, Vonnegut. Vonnegut Wins.

adhominy — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 15:53:03 +0000

The Joe Wilsons and Kanye Wests of the world will burn through more resources this year, more privilege this year, more influence this year than I will have in a lifetime…and it is not enough for them. When did we make these monsters so important?
How is it that these people were able to rise to such influential positions while being unable to recognize their turn to speak? If one cannot recognize the difference between being the invited speaker and being in the audience how do they manage normal conversation?
Kanye is being ripped a new one all over the media, both old and new. Joe Wilson has become a major force in America recognizing that Republicans are not making a good faith effort to work with Democrats to find a solution that benefits America. Poll

We are creating these monsters constantly but there is good news. We could all start reading Vonnegut. Kurt gave us all the advice we need. We must, as a group, look these people in the eye and tell them “To take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Take a flying fuck at the mooooon!”
You may think this is happening. Huge news has been made of Joe Wilson’s opponent raising around a million dollars in under 3 days after Joe’s hissy fit in front of the nation. What has not gained as much attention is that Mr. Wilson has raised about 75% of that, started with a larger war chest and has the advantage of being an incumbent.
It is too soon to prove it but I am willing to bet that Kanye West will be allowed into the next VMA. I bet he is allowed into the Grammy Award ceremony as well. And probably the Oscars. Do you think his management and record company are trying to separate themselves from him this morning or celebrating the free publicity?
There is almost always a movement on to ‘Throw the bums out!’ in America. With the current funding structure this is very unlikely to happen. Members of Congress seeking re-election have a success rate over 95%. But how about Kanye? Surely you will get the opportunity to go see a local musician instead of funding his ridiculousness. And writing your Congressman or Senator is always a crapshoot but if you write MTV and explain your vote in economic terms I am willing to bet you get a much better response.
We need more tolerance as a country, this is true. I am going to ask you to realize that, in many ways, we need a lot less tolerance. Remember Vonnegut. Remember that these two have shown no respect for the rights of the speaker, no tolerance for disagreement and no patience. I say we show them the same.

Kick Ass and Chew Bubblegum (With Too Much Emphasis on the Bubblegum)

adhominy — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 21:04:32 +0000

You are going to hear one now that you do not hear from me too darned often. I think the Republicans have the better game plan. They have finally caught on, after our 233 year experiment in democracy that being right doesn’t matter in a democracy. Getting lots of people to agree with you is all that matters. What kind of scenario would make me retract this and get back behind the Democrats?
How about this scenario: Someone in Washington gathers enough intestinal fortitude to stand up to the nutcases who, with a majority in both houses, the Presidency and free pass from the Supreme Court gave the populace nothing but the largest terror attack ever on our soil, a useless lie of a war, an inability to humble a cave-dwelling opponent and a new name for french fries?
With 20 of 29 years under their near-complete control the Republicans promised to stop abortion and didn’t, promised broad gun rights and failed to deliver, assured America of security they could not deliver, made ‘intelligence’ an oxymoron, and pushed prayer over clear thinking. What did they actually accomplish? They lowered taxes on the rich and drove the economy into the ground. And not a simple drop-the-ball kind of drive it into the ground but a full blown muscley-moustachioed-guy with a sledgehammer Big-Top-tent-stake kind of drove it into the ground. Now, out of power they are still making all the noise.
You see, this is not a war, it is a shouting match. That is what a democracy is now. The Republican shouters may be irrational douchebags in depends carrying pictures of an interracial constitutional scholar with a Hitler moustache Sharpied onto his face but shouting is what they are doing. And shouting is all that matters in a shouting match.
Here is my request to the Democrats: Start kicking asses, start screaming or pull a Palin and quit, go home and bitch incessantly on Facebook.
Not all Republicans are racists. However, enough of them are it should be an embarrassment to the party. Not all Republicans are screaming about Socialism without being able to define it. However, enough are that it should be an embarrassment to the party. Not all Republicans have joined Glenn Beck’s brainless, ignorant horde. But enough have that is should be embarrassing. And guess what? They are not embarrassed. In contrast the Obama administration just ousted a man from the club for calling Republicans ‘assholes’ and daring to think the Bush government didn’t do enough to stop 9/11.
Obama isn’t Hitler. He is starting to look like Pope Pius XII, though. Standing on the sidelines afraid to call a Nazi a Nazi. Perhaps he could take a cue and start defending policy and belief as vigorously as the Catholic Church has defended the pedophiles in its ranks?

Getting the Government Out of Health Care

adhominy — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:17:53 +0000

Another argument against Health Care Reform: “the government messes up everything it touches. Why let them into health care?”
I say we let them win this one. Hand it over to them. Agree in every way that the government should not be involved in funding or regulating any care for health.
First, this will mean getting government agencies at all level away from the abortion debate. Abortions are not provided by shoe salesmen; they are performed by doctors and involve the health of the mother and the fetus. I am so sorry that you have worked so hard to prevent abortion but it has become obvious that your beliefs contradict your actions. Back off.
Next, that sandwich you are stuffing in your face. Every ingredient in it is fair game for a government Health Inspector. No more. If the folks who run the slaughterhouse want to just skim off a little bit of rancid meat on the edges and push the product on to you that is their prerogative. You will also get to find out just how enjoyable it is to have no limits on the amount of rat feces on the grain that made the bun. While we are on the subject there will be no more ingredient lists. This is a government effort and law to protect your health. That nutritional information on the side also becomes fair game for whatever they wish to tell you.
Medicare? Government program, shut it down. Same for Medicaid. These people are already sucking far more money out of the government than they put in. It sounds like this one not only violates the government and healthcare rule but it reeks of socialism. We can’t have that. Oh, and aid to women and infants? Out the window with it. That is just the government interfering in healthcare again.
Remember the outrage about lead in toys coming from China? Well, that is the government interfering in your child’s health. Choking hazards will fall under the same turf. We will just have to give whatever toys you can get to your kids and conduct a long-term experiment by seeing which ones die. It would be terrible to have the government involved in protecting their health, yes?
Oh! The Food and Drug Administration is another one of those nasty, nasty government health programs. Get ready for medications being completely unregulated because we can’t have the government running around screwing that up!
While we have that red marker out we have to hit them all, right? This means six million bucks in cancer research out the window. $16,000,000,000 a year in research funds, including government funding that was instrumental in 15 of the 21 drugs with the greatest therapeutic effect released between 1965 and 1992. Thank goodness we can keep the government form screwing that up!
Now, I am just a humble artist who can’t possibly understand this huge issue so I am quite sure that this list of protections, er, I mean interference by the government in healthcare is by no means exhaustive but all you people against the government screwing up healthcare won’t mind these changes until I can figure out what else needs shut down, right?

Oh, darn! The V.A.! Somebody call all the veterans. They are on their own.

Snake Oil and the Snakes Who Sell It.

adhominy — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:12:58 +0000

One of the arguments I consistently hear conservatives use against Health Care Reform is that “Government can’t get anything right! Why let them into healthcare?” (Right before they get on the interstate to buy a burger that was inspected by a Fed.)
Well, let’s look at some other facts and predictions by our Right-wing brethren, shall we?
It would seem that the Conservatives who argue against government involvement have quite a few favorite lines to throw out. Let’s take a detailed look at their logic using…their logic.
We are just a few years into the experiment but it would appear, according to the numbers, that the divorce rate in Massachusetts has dropped since homosexual couples have been allowed to marry in that state. I guess one group is defending marriage more than the others? They’re here, they’re queer and they’re not getting divorced like you folks who defend marriage.
Shall we touch on those awful weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Perhaps the Iraqi connection with 9/11? Maybe we should skip those and go right to the part where our troops were met with flowers in the street as liberators. “It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months.” Ah, Rumsfeld: WRONG! How about G.W. Bush, over six years ago: “Good news to the men and women who fought … their mission is complete.” WRONG! And six years ago Cheney told us “I think it’ll go relatively quickly, …
Weeks rather than months.” When he was asked how long the conflict would last. WRONG!
Karl Rove predicted a majority for Repubs in 2006. That didn’t quite work. He also stated “”The Republican philosophy is alive and well and likely to reemerge in the majority in 2008.” Well, isn’t that cute. And wrong. Very, very wrong.
How about Bill Kristol? “If [Hillary Clinton] gets a race against John Edwards and Barack Obama, she’s going to be the nominee. Gore is the only threat to her … Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.” Wow. Wrong-a-palooza!
Peter Mulhern in 2007- “In this case conventional wisdom is not just wrong but comically so. [Fred] Thompson will win the Republican nomination for two reasons. First, he’s a very impressive candidate. Second, there’s no realistic alternative. He will win the general election for the same two reasons.” Wrong-a-long-a-ding-dong.
Ann Coulter in 2007- “I think it’s probably going to be Romney for the Republicans, Hillary for the Democrats.” Not even close!
Rudy Guliani in 2008- “We’ll win Florida. It’s an unconventional strategy, but I’ve never followed conventional wisdom before; it’s always worked.” Somebody call Rudy. Tell him he is SO wrong.
Rush Limbaugh- “I think [Obama has] been dead in the water since the primaries.” Ouchies!

“High tech is potent, precise, and in the end, unbeatable. …Look, I want to give the high-five symbol to high tech.” —George Bush Sr., on the growing tech bubble. Remember that busting in our faces like a cheap bubble gum bubble?
Do you remember being told that even if you disagreed with the President you should have respect for the office? Guess what- It was a Republican who screamed out his (totally false) opinion in the middle of President Obama’s speech.
Now, this same group, this same mindset, is telling us all that Healthcare reform will be the end of us. They shout the word “Socialism” without being able to define it. They insist, through all of it, that they are compassionate.
How many times can you be sold the same snake oil? How many times can you believe? How many times am I expected to see the same people following the same group making the same bad predictions before it is no longer rude to laugh in your face?
We all know the adage “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results.” So how many times are you going to listen? Really.

Pugilistic Linguists and the Temple of Thought

adhominy — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 14:41:08 +0000

I am not a linguist, but shouldn’t language become simpler over time? What does it say about our language and specifically about US culture that our language is apparently becoming more convoluted? And can we stop and take a look at how the Conservative movement has taken control of so many situations by taking control of language?
Truthers don’t seem to be too interested in facts. Birthers are not concerned with childbirth, outside of single child’s birth. Freepers are not worried about delivering more freedom. Birchers do not seem to care about the fate of trees.
This bastardization of our language seems to be about normalizing the fringe. I say it is high time that the liberal crowd took advantage of it. We should start labeling things ourselves, we should take over a few words and see if we cannot spread them like wildfire.
Do you believe that two people who love one another should be allowed to marry, regardless of gender? I say you are a ‘Lover.”
Are you of the opinion that health care should be available to all, regardless of income? I dub you a “Carer.”
Would you agree that a homosexual can be patriotic and should be able to demonstrate that patriotism by serving in the armed forces and fighting for their country? I say we call you a “Fighter.”
If someone you know drives a gas hog vehicle capable of carrying eight passengers and they do not regularly carry eight passengers we need a new name for them as well. Hawgs is a label taken year ago by our two-wheeled friends so I suggest we call them ‘Gassy.’
If you believe abortion should only be available to victims of rape, I guess we have to call you a ‘Raper.’
As for those who work against environmental laws and believe that industries should be able to dump more and more poison into our environment; welcome to the debate ‘Dumpers.’
Hannity, Limbaugh, Beck? Well, they keep dumping crap into the debate. ‘Crappers’ it is.
Think about it. And remember that this fight is non-violent and capable of being won.

The Culture of CaCa

adhominy — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 23:29:32 +0000

When did the current level of debate sink lower than a sea cucumbers fartmaker? When did conversing in order to find a truth or compromise die a messy, painful death and leave a bloated carcass in the sun to mark where a chance for consensus once stood?
It would seem that the current infatuation with anti-intellectual clap-trap snuck up on us, which is embarrassing. It was about as stealthy as one of those giant walking tanks from the last decent Star Wars movie but it ninjaed right up behind the whole country and slapped an atomic wedgie on our best opportunity of improving our culture at the expense of Glenn Beck and Keith Olbermann getting a shoulder ride around the gym while Formal Argument got a swirly in the locker room. And then, suddenly, it stood on our neck and called our mother names. Making a sound argument or appealing to supposedly universal ethics now make you as popular as a cello player at the football rally. How did that happen?
When was it that facts became the mullets of conversation? When was it that opinion came to be a flamethrower with attached shotgun and fact became the annoying hum from your fridge everyone has learned to ignore? What seismic shift occurred that led so many of us to believe that believing was more important than knowing and that knowing had nothing to do with proving? And when did proving come to be considered the social equivalent of spitting in someone else’s Big Gulp?
The surest proof of this final surrender is in the number of people who use the phrase “Nothing can change my mind.” If nothing can change your mind I don’t think you can actually call your skull-filler a mind. Even a rat will take the better way through amaze once it has been made apparent.
However it happened, it is too late to stand around placing blame like an overweight accident investigator. Let us fight back! How? Intolerance! The next time someone insists that their opinion is as valid as any fact treat them like a telemarketer with a lisp and thick accent. And even that is not enough. It is time to start reacting to sound arguments like chocolate in chocolate sauce with a chocolate filling. Congratulate people when you hear them being brave enough to cite a valid source. Give footrubs to the rational, offer a ride to anyone willing to debate clearly. Get out the carrot AND the stick. It isn’t too late.

Health, Terror, Belief.

adhominy — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:19:12 +0000

What is the greater likelihood: that Al Qaida will target your home or that you will be refused medical care?
We have spent the almost eight years being told we should be afraid of Al Qaida coming to get us. Al Qaida has struck no American school, no American home. Refusal to cover basic medical procedures has struck millions. Bankruptcy caused by medical bills strikes more people, more families, everyday. The youngest victim of 9/11 was two, the oldest was 85. Lack of healthcare strikes Americans of every age.
There is no way to absolutely stop terrorism. If some faction, somewhere in the world, decides to strike us there is no way to stop them from driving a car into a gas station, damaging the piers of the bridge you travel most frequently, possibly spreading a silent, invisible disease. These people, filled with hate, can strike you or me.
But you can save me from not having healthcare. You can take preventative measures to protect yourself should you or your spouse lose their jobs and thus lose their health benefits or, at least as common, finding out that the insurance you have paid for year after year just flat refuses to cover a needed procedure or treatment. And it will not slow you down at the airport or keep you from travelling freely. How about we create universal health insurance through the group that has the lowest overhead for such service?
Is any percentage of your income more important than humanitarian care? Does your religion not tell you that you are, indeed, responsible for caring for others? Is your greed for 300 cable channels, a bigger car and another vacation so great that a child should die for it?
You pay for roads and education for others and these things will not prevent an untreated illness form mutating into something that kills a member of your family. Are you so secure in your income and absolute marketability that you are positive you will never need this care? IS your position in life permanent? If it is, feel blessed…and responsible for helping another.
If you are a Christian can you not spare a few more dollars, even a lot more of your paycheck, for others after someone else died for you? Did Christ not compel you to charity? (Matthew 25:31-46) If you are a Muslim does the Zakat not compel you to care for your brother and sister?
I hear a lot that the current proposal is being rushed, but universal healthcare has been near the forefront of political debate since Clinton took office in 1992. That is 17 years, far more time than we have debated our right to start any war. I hear people stating that they support reform but it must be done better than the current plans aims. Does this mean we cannot impose this plan to protect ourselves until you come up with a better one?
Think on it. Think on it without outside influence. Pretend you mother is watching. Know your God is watching.

Too Much Free Time…

adhominy — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 15:18:44 +0000

I am consistently amazed at people using the phrase “Too much free time on their hands.” It is almost always spoken in response to someone producing, with no damage to anyone else, a quirky, odd or mildly entertaining bit of creative output.
Put a costume on your pet duck? “That guy has too much free time on their hands!”
Edit a video to make it funnier and post it online? “That woman has too much free time on their hands!”
Decorate your entire basement with nothing but Sharpie markers? “That idiot has too much free time on their hands!”
What if this criticism had struck Walt Disney, Leonardo Da Vinci or Mikhail Baryshnikov while they fumbled around looking for the best way to express their vision?
I would like to ask a favor of you. The next time you feel the urge to utter this phrase stop and think. Why are you pointing it at the people who manage to combine creative with harmless and entertaining?
Let us try a slight paradigm shift. How about we all save this particular phrase for the non-creative, for the harmful and for the not so entertaining?
Protestor who avoids constructive action or debate in favor of standing in the street with a sign? “THAT person has too much free time on their hands!”
Nuisance lawsuit? “THAT person has too much free time on their hands!”
Attempting to FORCE your beliefs on others? “THAT person has too much free time on their hands!”
I realize that criticism of the harmless is far from the worst of our culture’s ills but perhaps for just a day or a week we could aim this particular criticism away from the harmlessly creative and towards the maliciously disruptive.
Try it for a bit. It won’t take much effort and may leave you with a little extra time on your hands.